Live and Learn

Don't let your past thwart your future. 

Two years ago I was thrown out of my apartment. A place I called home for a year and half is where I collected all of my personal belongings in a matter of 10-15 minutes and this is where my shame began.  I was living in Texas, in a town where I had No Family and very few friends. At the time, I was hopeless, depressed and homeless. The day I was thrown out, I scraped the money I had and managed to secure a cheap motel room for the night. That night, I stayed up all night uncomfortably surrounded by luggage and boxes of my stuff. I felt I had reached rock bottom or at least I thought this is what it must feel like. The stench of cigarettes and alcohol permeated the room from the previous guest and all I could think of was.. what will I do next? I only had enough money for one night. The next day I made phone calls to the few friends I had hoping they would help me in my time of need and desperation. To lighten my load I walked to the near by Goodwill to donate some of my things so that if I did have to spend the night on the streets the next day I would at least have a lighter load to carry. 

As a blessing, my first angel  came in the form of a new friend I had recently met at a local networking event. I barely knew this person but they embraced me as if I were there own. They managed to get me a really nice hotel room for the next two nights and I was forever grateful. During this time I was too ashamed to contact my family until my two night stay was up. My last day in the hotel I mustered up the courage to email my cousin in a last plea for help. 

In this email, I laid myself bare detailing the last 72 hours of my life. To my refuge, my cousin came to the rescue and the next day I was scheduled to be picked up and driven to the nearest biggest city. Later that day I checked out of the hotel and my friend picked me up and drove me to a nearby gas station where I was to be picked up by another friend who let me sleep on their couch that night. The next day I was picked up early in the morning by strangers who were my 3rd God sent angels. As we drove away from this small town in Texas, I emotionally said goodbye not knowing if I would ever see this place again. 

The next week I spent with a family that were warm, welcoming and very loving. They loved me without knowing me nor did they judge me. That week I gained a new family who I am forever indebted to. I share this with you not to just relive what I deem a traumatic experience but to express that from this past experience there is a lesson to be learned. That lesson I now have learned and matured from. This type of experience heavily decreased my confidence but also taught the value of things I did not value before. I believe it is amazing how a positive can be birthed from a negative situation just like a phoenix rises from the ashes that represents the flames of another phoenix. It is essential that people value others but most importantly value themselves. Self love is the first step in understanding your worth and value and once you are in love with who you are then love for others will be easier to give and sustain. 

For those of you still reliving traumatic experiences that you believe have altered the course of your life. Refrain from allowing it to thwart your progress. Put your your past in a bubble and kiss it to the sky thanking the universe for that experience because now you know better and can do better. 

Sincerely, 

The Burgeoning Turtle

Song of this post: Breathe by Floacist